Lasting Impression
by kendokao
Summary: Mirai timeline. A letter to a friend, a voice that transcends life and death. Gohan-san, his sensei, his best friend. Six months after Gohan's death, a young Trunks visits his grave.


Disclaimer: This story is a not-for-profit fan work based on Akira Toriyama's _Dragon Ball_ series. I claim no affiliation with Bird Studios, Toei or FUNimation.

A/N: Written with Evanescence's "My Immortal" in mind; might I suggest giving the song a listen as you read?

**Lasting Impression**

_A young boy knelt wordlessly in front of a grave, lavender hair falling in his eyes. _Son Gohan_, the headstone read. _Your body may be dead, but your spirit lives on_. Tears blurred the boy's vision. His hand shook as he taped an envelope, slightly wrinkled from being in his pocket, to the cold, smooth stone surface._

Dear Gohan-san,

How have you been? I suppose I'm doing all right. It's been six months, did you know that? Six months since I found you lying there in the rain, the life blasted out of you by those monsters. They're still killing people, you know. They never stopped. I've done my best to fight back, really, I have. But not long after you died, it hit me: I'm sick of all this fighting.

I. . . I don't know if I can do this. You always believed in me. You never gave up on me when I struggled to become a Super Saiyan, not even when I was ready to give up on myself. Well, you know something? I finally did transform. It was your death that made me snap. I can almost see you smiling now, hear your voice saying, "I told you so." You always believed that I could do it, that I had the power to defeat the androids, that I just needed to bring it out. But I can't. Not now, Gohan-san, not with the memory of your death haunting me every battle.

Every time I fight the androids I see your face. You'd think that it would make me that much stronger, remembering what they did to you, how much pain they've caused, but maybe not. Maybe it's too soon, maybe I'm not ready, because each time I see your face I falter.

Why did you go alone?

Did you know, Gohan-san, that the very first memory I have of you is of you crying? You must have been twelve or so, and I was nearly three. I remember sitting on your lap in front of the graves of your friends, the ones I never knew. You cried for them, and I didn't understand why. After all, I was a toddler – what did I know about death? I reached up with my tiny hands to wipe away your tears. You see, Gohan-san, I didn't want you to be sad.

As a little kid I idolized you. Im sure you remember that. I didn't know my daddy, and you were the big brother I never had. I was certain you could do anything. You were my hero, and I wanted to be just like you. I always thought you would be the one to defeat the androids, that you were the one who would save us all. I figured I'd be happy just to fight alongside you when that day came.

I remember what a shock it was when we battled the androids at Super World. For the first time I realized that you were not invincible. It made me wonder just how hard it had been for you to make it that far fighting alone. Watching you struggle against the androids. . . it made me wonder if we were all living on borrowed time.

It was worse when I woke up after the androids had blown up the place. Seeing you lying there like that, nearly dead and missing one arm. . . it scared the shit out of me. It had never occurred to me that you could lose that badly. You, Son Gohan, the strongest warrior I had ever known. But it only got worse from there.

Why did you fight them alone? You knew you were going to die, didn't you? I always assumed that you would defeat the androids one day. I always thought it would be you, the one who had seen his closest friends mercilessly killed at their hands, the one who had been fighting them before I could even walk. But no, Gohan-san, they killed you first. They killed you, and I've been left here to do what you could not.

I have seen you die a thousand times in my dreams. Every night for the first few weeks I would wake up screaming. The worst part is that it was never just a dream. They really did kill you, and you are never coming back, no matter how many times I call out your name.

You were everything to me, Gohan-san. Everything. You held my hand through this hell, and you showed me how to live in a world full of death. You were my sensei, my mentor, my best friend. You always understood me. Do you understand me now?

I hate them for killing you, for taking you away. But, Gohan-san, I'm not too happy with you, either. You left me in this hell alone.

Your headstone says that your spirit lives on. It's true. I can feel you with me, just like you've always been. But at the same time I wonder. You see, Gohan-san, all those years ago you had your friends. You had your father, my father, Piccolo, Kuririn, and the others. They died, and you saw it happen, but at least you got to be with them for a while. I never had that. All I had was you. You meant more than anything to me, but now that you're gone, it makes me wonder if in a way I've been alone the whole time.

You left a lasting impression, Gohan-san, one that will never fade. But I don't know if I'm ready – ready to fight, ready to let go, ready to forgive. One day I will be ready, but not now. But until that day comes. . . this is good-bye.

Love,

Trunks

_The boy wiped the tears from his eyes as he stood, a cool breeze ruffling his hair. With one final glance at the grave, he turned and walked away._

_He froze in his tracks as a faint voice whispered, "I'm sorry."_

_And the boy continued walking, a shadow of a smile on his face, aware of the impression that he, too, had made._

* * *

**Author's Note** (Oct. 2010): This was originally a songfic to Evanescence's "My Immortal," back in the day before songfics were explicitly against the rules. I always thought that "My Immortal" was just haunting enough to suit the Mirai timeline, especially following the death of Gohan. A version of the fic with lyrics interwoven can be found at my livejournal (see profile).


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